oh boy. i love writing meta so here’s my very detailed ezioleo nsfw headcanon because I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A LONG-ASS TIME.
lol sure go ahead. here he is in full hd glory for you because the gif fucked it up.
NO NO NO NO NO NO.
How much is this monstrosity?
If its cheap, I might buy it - and make the other 2/3 of the outfit they seem to have forgotten. Like the pants.
It’s +$100. I kid you not.
if he was confirmed as not being a descendant (i dont see why they would have?) then i wouldnt know because ive been trying to avoid unity spoilers
i bet that one comic has been circulating again lol
i guess its very simple????? i felt really irked with dirk/jake from the beginning and felt like dirk could do way better given more options. equius is most likely the only person who could stand dirk’s overbearing control freak tendencies long-term, to the point of even getting some enjoyment out of it. also equius is kind of fucked up troll-wise in the sense that he wants some black reciprocation to his red feelings. imo he’d be way better off in a d/s relationship with a human where confusion over black/red vacillation wouldn’t be an issue, and dirk is 150% the perfect option for that. also they’re both kinky fuckers (&interspecies relationship? l00d as fuck.), and have identical interests so it would be a perfectly fulfilling relationship A++++++++++++++ would come again
Erwin groaned and arched his back as Levi’s hands smoothed over his ass before he unceremoniously pushed down his swim trunks. Levi leaned forward to whisper in Erwin’s ear, and the commander felt every hair on him stand on edge as Levi’s erection pressed against his now bare ass. “You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to fuck you all day. And that’s exactly what I intend to do.” He keened at this, already aroused as Levi licked a long, torturously slow trail down his back.
Erwin rested the side of his face on the plastic crocodile’s neck and looked back towards the other man through half-lidded eyes, anxious for what was next. A rare chuckle. The captain spat into his hand, then spread it over his cock. “You want me so bad that I bet I don’t even have to prepare you.” And with that, he positioned himself at Erwin’s entrance and slid in roughly with a single thrust.
Erwin’s yells of pleasure could be heard from a mile away, and drowned even the distressed squeaks coming from the inflatable crocodile and the slapping of the plastic against water. Levi’s thrusts were unrelentless right from the beginning, expertly angling down to that spot he knew so well. Erwin was in a state of pure bliss. However this was cut short when he noticed that they had somehow gotten closer to the water.
A sense of pure dread flooded him. “L-Levi, I think it’s deflating,” the commander barely managed to croak out.The other man stopped his movements immediately and exclamed. “..SHIT!!” Throughout the ordeal they had drifted far away from the shore, and drowned. The end.
IM IN LITERAL TEARS ANON OMF
DONT HAVE SEX ON POOL TOYS IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO SWIM KIDS